How to Pray in Tongues: A Careful, Non-Hyped Guide

This post is for Christians who believe the gift of tongues is for today and want to actually engage with it. If you’re a cessationist (you believe the miraculous gifts ended with the apostles), most of this won’t apply to you, and that’s fine. We’re cautiously continuationist here, but we don’t make this a dividing line.

If you’re somewhere in the middle — curious, uncertain, maybe a little weirded out — this is the careful guide. What it is, what it isn’t, how to seek it without forcing it, and how to use it well.

What praying in tongues actually is (biblically)

The Bible describes (at least) two kinds of tongues:

Public tongues — known foreign languages spoken supernaturally without prior learning, intended to communicate the gospel across language barriers. The clearest example is Pentecost in Acts 2, where the disciples spoke real languages (Parthian, Median, Elamite, etc.) and people from different nations heard the gospel in their native tongue.

Private prayer tongues — a prayer language between the believer and God that requires interpretation to be understood by others. Paul describes this in 1 Corinthians 14:2, 14:4. He says it edifies the speaker privately, and that he himself prays this way (1 Corinthians 14:18).

Most contemporary “tongues” practice is the second category. It’s a private prayer practice, not a public communication miracle.

What it isn’t

A few clarifications:

• It isn’t the proof of being a Christian. That doctrine — “initial physical evidence” — is held by some streams but not biblical. See our post on tongues for the longer answer.
• It isn’t a higher level of spirituality. Paul ranks prophecy and other intelligible gifts as more useful in the church (1 Corinthians 14:5).
• It isn’t a performance. Public tongues without interpretation is explicitly forbidden by Paul. If a service features showy tongues with no interpreter, that service isn’t following scripture.
• It isn’t required. Most mature Christians don’t speak in tongues, and that’s not a deficit.

How to seek the gift

If you’ve concluded the gift is for today and you’d like to receive it, here’s the careful approach:

1. Ask. James 4:2 — “You do not have because you do not ask.” Pray simply: “Holy Spirit, if you want to give me this gift, I’m asking for it. I want a deeper prayer life. Use it however you see fit.”

2. Be patient. Some receive it immediately. Some gradually. Some not at all. God decides which gifts go to which people.

3. Have a trusted mature believer pray with you. Someone who has the gift and uses it humbly. Not someone who pressures you. The Bible models laying-on-of-hands prayer for the impartation of gifts (Acts 8:17, 19:6).

4. Don’t force it. If you start making sounds because you feel you’re supposed to, you’ll either fake the gift (which helps nobody) or trigger an emotional event that doesn’t bear fruit. Be honest. If nothing happens, nothing happens.

5. Accept God’s answer either way. If you receive it, use it well. If you don’t, look for the gift you do have. (See our post on identifying your gift.)

How to use the gift if you have it

Three rules from 1 Corinthians 14:

1. Pray privately. Most use of this gift should be in your own prayer time, alone with God. Paul says it “edifies himself” (v. 4). Use it for personal worship, intercession, when you’re stuck for words.

2. In church, only with an interpreter. “If anyone speaks in a tongue, two — or at the most three — should speak, one at a time, and someone must interpret. If there is no interpreter, the speaker should keep quiet in the church and speak to himself and to God” (v. 27–28). This is Paul’s direct rule. Modern services that ignore it are out of order.

3. Don’t elevate it above the other gifts. Paul explicitly says he’d rather have prophecy (intelligible speech that builds others up) than tongues for the corporate setting. Tongues is one tool, not the toolkit.

When it’s working

A few signs that what you’re experiencing is the genuine gift:

• It deepens your prayer life over time.
• It produces the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience) in your character.
• You don’t feel superior to Christians without the gift.
• You use it humbly and privately, not as a status marker.
• It points you toward Jesus, not toward yourself or the experience.

If those things aren’t true, the practice may not be what you think it is. Be honest with yourself. Better to discover that than to build a spiritual life on a false foundation.

What if I never receive this gift?

You’re in good company. Paul, who explicitly had this gift, makes clear most Christians don’t. The Spirit gives gifts “as he determines” (1 Corinthians 12:11). Some Christians get teaching, some get mercy, some get administration, some get tongues. Nobody gets everything.

If you’ve asked and not received: thank God for the gifts you do have, and serve where they fit. The body of Christ needs every part. The hand isn’t more important than the foot.

What’s next

• 5 things most Christians get wrong about tongues.
• Who is the Holy Spirit? (Beginner’s guide).
• Which spiritual gift do I have?
• Our pillar resource on speaking in tongues.

The gift is real. So is the misuse. Hold both honestly and the gift will be exactly what Paul described — a private way of praying that brings you closer to God, used quietly and well.